He is the ideal man you have always been looking for – tall, dark and handsome (although by the time you clock 30 this will not matter). He has a good sense of humour and he is hardworking. He fits the description of a perfect gentleman but has only one major flaw – HIS MOTHER.
He is always consulting her on family decisions, he disregards your opinion just because his mum has a different one. In the extreme cases, he will talk about your intimacy with her.
Should his close-knit relationship with mum get in the way of your love? There is nothing wrong with a loving-son-mother relationship because ideally a man will treat you how he treats his mother.
If he does not respect his mother you can bet, he will not respect you. She is the deal breaker in your union; you are even dating him because she approved. Women love being number one in every relationship and if she is not, she will end up resenting you and walking away. Is their relationship driving you nuts and how do you cope with dating a mama’s boy?
1. Communicate
Men are not mind readers and most often than not, he may not have noticed that his obsession with mum is ruining your relationship, so talk to him. Do not change just to suit what he wants or to accommodate everything he says. Men love women with a backbone, and therefore you should always have a stand when it comes to your personality. Stick to your ways but not aiming to be at loggerheads. He will start respecting that you’re own.
2. Ignore his snide comments
You have gone all out to make his favourite dinner; he comes home and after the meal he says: “No one makes pasta like my mother.” Don’t take it personally. Maybe you can learn a thing or two from her cooking.
3. Never talk ill of his mother
His mum may not have the best fashion sense or the cleanest of hearts, but with mama’s boys you might want to refrain making foul comments about his beloved. Your man will take it personally that you are attacking the person who matters most to him. You don’t want him running back to live with mama do you?
4. Set boundaries
A relationship without boundaries is doomed, with or without a nosy mother involved. If he has no boundaries with his mother, you need to set your own. Is she always showing up to your house unannounced at ungodly hours just because it is her son’s house? Work out a rule with your husband that if someone is to visit, he or she should make prior arrangements. Use excuses such as I need to prepare enough food, inform the children if there are any, prepare a place for them to sleep, and so on.
5. Never confront his mother
The first step to failing in any relationship with a mama’s boy is taking upon you to address his mother’s faults directly. Yes, she may have offended you, but this is one of the battles you will never win. His mum will resent you and purpose to create a rift between the two of you. You can be sure if the mum constantly feeds him negative information about you, your relationship will be affected. If you need to correct his mum just tell him to address it.
If you have tried all this and it didn’t work, don’t get stuck in an unhappy relationship. You should have one foot to the door by now. But if your patience is one described in the Holy Book, stay on – he just might change.
