ibumped into my ex boyfriend at the airport when I was returning from a conference in Germany. He was dumbfounded because I hadn’t really seen him since he last dumped my jobless **s and I was looking every part like a milli bucks,” says Millie who works with an NGO.
She has known no peace ever since that day, thanks to his incessant calling. He now wants them to mend fences and get back together since as he claims, she was and will always be THE ONE.
Do you have an ex who won’t leave you alone? He will show up at your work place; during family gatherings he will be around the building, and he even starts hanging out at your local bar all in a bid to woo you back.
He befriends your family and close allies. Your family will not stop reminding you that James is a good man and you should give him a second chance no matter the differences in the past and that you will soon clock 30.
They all know James is no angel and there is no chance you will ever get back together. How do you deal with this flame from a past love affair and make sure he remains just that?
1.Ignore him
If you really want nothing to do with your ex, then ignore him. Cut off all communication with him, and if you must, block his number. Do not reply to his text messages and emails. And if he calls, let his messages go to voice-mail. There is no need to be cordial with him because the ‘being friends’ with him won’t really work.
2.Block him from your social media feed
If seeing his photos or posts on your Facebook or Instagram timeline brings back all the fond memories, and you find yourself checking his page or stalking his new girlfriend, please save yourself the hassle. Unfriend or unfollow him. Block him if it will help you to move on. He maybe offended that after all the good times you share you would do this, but your feelings come first
3.Create boundaries
What happens when you eventually manage to extricate your ex from your life, you get a new catch but he still won’t leave you alone? Your new man will start wondering how may of your exes you keep in touch with, and if the two of you stand a chance. Create boundaries and make it clear to your ex he doesn’t stand a chance in your new life.
4.Find a hobby
You have been trying to avoid him and when you finally bump into each other three months post-breakup all the emotions come flooding back. You are contemplating calling him and just when you are about to he makes the first move. You start thinking what could have been of that relationship and you seriously contemplate reconnecting. Don’t. Bumping into the ex and having a good chat doesn’t mean you were mean’t to be. If you are having trouble getting him out of your mind then find a hobby – join a book club, train for a marathon, catch up with your girls or get a side hustle.
5.Don’t give him false hope
Whether you need to teach him a lesson for doing you wrong while you were together, giving him false hope is not a path you want to take with your ex. If you want nothing to do with him, then make it clear. Do not invite him to your house, go on coffee dates with him or chat him up when you are bored. Learn to be firm with him because you do not want a case where you are caught up again with emotions for your ex when right from the beginning it was just a game for you.
